FIRST CAREGIVER

By: Jalil M. Usman, RSW

 

             When I started my work in CRIBS as an Adoption Social Worker, I had no idea how the tasks we were assigned to had a connection with the Placement Team’s program. Certain questions bothered me about the process leading to adoption and the care of the children in the institution. I wondered what the duties of the caregivers were, as well as the process of child care.

 

             My first task at the time was to help out with the children in the Receiving Home (RH). Being a caregiver for a day was part of my orientation. During my stay at RH there were many questions in my mind: Where did these children come from? Why were they abandoned? Where were their parents? How do the children feel about being abandoned and neglected?

 

             I also wondered how caregivers felt about their relationships with the children, in the absence of their parents. How do they bond with the children? I believe most social workers have entertained these questions in their minds. When asked, a simple smile from them would be a good enough response. That simple smile would convey many things; the product of mixed emotions and indefinable moments. That smile always showed me that the social worker was happy and self-fulfilled, being a part of  the children’s early development.

 

             I remembered facilitating my first admission of an abandoned child, John Rex from the Quirino Memorial CityCenter in Quezon City (QMMC), together with other CRIBS staff members, Ms. Nora Geraldino (Senior Caregiver/Midwife) and Ms. Jean T. Cadelina (former Placement Supervisor). When we arrived at the hospital, one of the Medical Social Workers of QMMC accompanied us to the nursery section where I met Ms. X (the nurse and John Rex’s first caregiver). Ms. X was busy preparing the baby for the discharge when the Social Worker commented, “Paano ba iyan, aalis na ang baby mo, kukunin na siya ng mga taga CRIBS?” Ms. X replied “Oo nga, pwede bang akin na lang siya?” I knew it was meant as a joke, even if it was said with tears in her eyes. The child had been cared for at the hospital for almost three months by Ms. X. Although she was a single woman, she admitted feeling an attachment and a motherly instinct for John Rex. She found it difficult to separate from him: “Gusto ko sana siyang ampunin kasi parang baby ko na ang turing ko sa kanya at napamahal na sa akin ang bata” was what she said during our conversation. She then expressed her intention to adopt the child. Unfortunately, Ms X was aware that a formal process had to be followed in order to effect adoption.

 

             Ms. X however, added that she was happy that John Rex would be placed with CRIBS for proper care and management. She knew that the hospital had no facilities for abandoned babies. As she herself said, “Alam ko maaalagaan ng mabuti yong baby kasi maganda ang CRIBS. Dadalaw na lang ako pag may time, para bisitahin siya at baka pag tumagal pa dito yong baby ay mas lalo pa akong mahirapan.” I felt so much for Ms. X   I saw her cry when John Rex was taken from her that day.

 

             The story of Ms. X and John Rex is one of my most memorable experiences with CRIBS. For some, this may be a common story.  But for caregivers who give their time, effort and unconditional love and care to children like John Rex, stories like this become part of a Social Worker’s trove of valuable experiences.

The Official Newsletter of CRIBS Foundation, Inc.